Michael Dresser

Wheel Of Consent

A certified member of the School of Consent, offering approved training developed by Dr Betty Martin, the creator of the Wheel Of Consent®

What is the Wheel Of Consent?

Developed through several decades of practical application, the Wheel Of Consent® is a simple, powerful, navigational tool, which brings choice and clarity to your interactions with others.

The Wheel Of Consent enables you to:

  • Notice what you feel
  • Trust what you want
  • Communicate what you enjoy

How can the Wheel Of Consent help you?

Do you want better relationships, stronger boundaries, clearer communication skills? Would you like to improve your relationship with touch? The Wheel Of Consent offers a revolutionary, practical approach for navigating interactions with family, friends, partners, even work colleagues.

"Life-changing...

thoughtful...

radical"

That's how someone described it after working with me.  Here are some of the ways the Wheel Of Consent can help you change your life:

Learn more...

True consent is not simply about one person saying yes. Consent is the agreement between two or more people about what will or won’t happen.

And – just as importantly – the understanding of who it is for

There are lots of ways you can learn from me without us being in the same room...

Discover better relationships with your Relationship Needs Blueprint

Your Relationship Needs Blueprint can help you discover how to have better relationships. A 5-week online course with the Feel Institute

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3 easy tips to help you navigate your interactions after lockdown

Anxious about re-engaging with interactions after lockdown? Here are 3 simple ways you can help yourself – and others – feel more comfortable

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How to ask for consent – the 6 essential words you need

From the bedroom to the boardroom (and everywhere else as well) – when you start to use these 6 little words, you may be surprised by how useful you find them!

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How to tell if you should say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to something

It’s not what you say, it’s why you say it. Follow these simple steps and learn how to tell when to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to something.

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How do you navigate?

In any interaction – from the boardroom to the bedroom – it’s possible to experience giving and receiving in four very different ways. The Wheel Of Consent helps take these apart and get clear about what you really want from the exchange.

compass black

Allowing

How often do you go along with something you don’t want?

We live in a world that forces us to endure lots of things without our full consent – hugs, adverts, behaviour from those around us which doesn’t take into account our own needs.

Most of us are so used to putting up and shutting up that we no longer know what our limits really are.


But when you know you have a genuine choice about what you allow then Allowing becomes a gift you can give freely: access to you, on your own terms.

Accepting

Do you know what you want? (what you really, really want)

Would you be able to ask for the most amazing touch you could think of right now? Or would it be easier to settle for something ‘safe’, something simply ‘OK’?

It often feels awkward to accept a gift without any need to give something return. It can feel like we’re being selfish.


Yet learning to receive a truly no-strings gift can be immensely healing, and is probably one of the best ways to achieve a feeling of self-worth and self-acceptance.

Taking

Does ‘Taking’ feel like it's become a bit of a dirty word?

Taking often brings to mind invasive or aggressive behaviour. Getting something by whatever means necessary – which usually also means without consent.

Think of that person who steals a hug from you without checking whether you’re up for it.


But if you get agreement from the other person first, Taking can be a healthy thing - identifying, and looking after your own needs; nourishing yourself by listening to and responding to your desires.

Serving

Ever done something in order to get something in return?

We tend to think of Serving as ‘doing’ something ‘for’ someone else. But if you answered yes to the above question, you'll know we often do things for ourselves as much as for others!

If the other person doesn’t want what you’re offering you may feel rejected by them, or they may feel obligated.


When we learn to identify what we truly want for ourselves first, it then becomes possible to choose to set it aside for the benefit of another person – and genuinely start Serving.

wheel of consent book cover

Wheel Of Consent - the book

The #MeToo movement has exposed the pervasiveness of boundary violations in modern culture. The Wheel of Consent offers a deeply nuanced way to practice consent as an agreement that brings integrity, responsibility, and empowerment into human interaction, starting with touch and relationships.

In this definitive book, Betty Martin, creator of the Wheel Of Consent, guides you through its framework, and shares 'pleasure-forward' practices to help you recover the ability to notice what you want and set clear boundaries.

What people say about working with me:

"100% recommend everyone to do this, for improved relationships"

"A powerful, deep learning experience. I appreciate the gentleness of Michael’s approach"

 

"I feel I’ve gained a piercing insight into the complexities of relationships and agreements!"

"The Wheel of Consent transformed my approach to getting my needs met" 

How To Be Heard

Discover the power of being truly heard and witnessed, with my easy

20 minute guide.

 

Learn this simple mutual practice to improve your feelings of safety, wellbeing, and self-expression.