Make your move
Forget trying to hold yourself perfectly still on a meditation mat. Gabrielle Roth, founder of 5Rhythms, had the right idea when she observed that “the fastest way to still the mind is move the body”.
Movement allows flow
It raises the heart rate and activating the breath, it’s how oxygen and energy move around the body – and in pleasure terms that means helping it travel from the genitals to the tips of your fingers.
In most cultures dance is an integral part of courtship and attraction rituals (remember the coveted ‘slow dance’ at the school disco?). But when it comes to pleasuring our own bodies many of us have developed habits of restriction. Unlocking these through movement reconnects us with freedom and trust in our own body.
Do you need fancy moves for intimacy?
Movement is often one of the more overlooked pathways into intimate personal connection – unlike breathing or even communication through sound (which we all do every day without thinking), many people feel awkward when asked to move their body, inhibited by a notion that they need some kind of technique to be any ‘good’.
But it’s really so simple, and there’s no need for fancy moves! Try it now: just start moving your hips, swinging them gently from side to side, or in a figure of eight, and you’ll begin to feel a stirring of energy. Magnify that movement from your hips out into the rest of your body and you’ll be well on your way to heightening erotic sensation as you engage every part of you – body and soul.
Being in the moment
In her ‘Jamming Model’ approach to sex, Karen B K Chan likens good sexual experience to a musicians’ jam session, where awareness of your own technique, and being well tuned in to what your jamming partners are doing, is an integral part of a successful experience.
I’d take this one step further and suggest that when we move, or dance – allowing our bodies to respond moment to moment, in a split second, with our dancing partners – we have to be completely fully present to what our bodies are doing: one wrong move and you could step on someone’s toe, or worse knock them over!
But when you’re perfectly in sync with another moving body there’s a special kind of magic that transcends moving by yourself. As they say: it takes two to tango…
So take your first steps…let your head go, set your body free… ‘dance like nobody’s watching’ and see where it can move you to… you might surprise yourself!
24 May, Forest Row, East Sussex. With Michael Dresser & Sarah Davies. What does consent look and feel like on a dancefloor? A 1-day exploration for those who love to dance and are interested in the dynamics that can arise when we dance in a group with people.
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If you’re feeling overwhelmed the Wheel Of Consent can provide a great framework for helping you look at how you make decisions about what you do or don’t agree to – and why.