The Joy of Touch – for couples

Online learning options available

A simple, illuminating practice for couples to improve touch and communication – so you can BOTH get a touch experience you really enjoy

Enjoy touch more, and bring the joy of touch (back) into your relationship!

Is touch with your partner stuck in a rut, disappointing, or boring? Do you find it hard to tell them when you’d like touch to stop or change?

Learn some simple tools and practices that will help you notice, and communicate, what feels good for you, so you can both enjoy touch together.

This practice is win-win – eliminate the guesswork when it comes to pleasing your partner… and get to be touched the way you really want.

Learn how to be touched

The idea of learning how to be touched may sound strange – especially for couples.

Most relationships don’t come with a ‘how to touch’ manual though.

So wouldn’t it be great – when touch isn’t quite hitting the spot - to know how to stop going along with it, without upsetting your partner? (Read more about why we find that so difficult)

Radical, liberating, and profound

In a world where most of us have frequently had our physical boundaries crossed, being touched only when and how YOU choose can be a profound experience.

This is about reclaiming touch, pleasure and consent – and joy - for yourself.

It sounds obvious. But so many of us have either normalised ‘putting up’ with touch we don’t want, ignored our own desires, or turned away from touch altogether – even in our most intimate partnerships.

Learning to be able to identify, ask for, and receive ONLY the touch you truly want can be a radical, and liberating experience, helping to build new levels of trust with your own body, as well as with your partner.

"A joyful, freeing and creative process. I now feel I have a better sense of what I want, how to communicate that, and how to create more harmonious relationships"

Jez, Scotland

Enjoy touch - and rejuvenate your relationship

The practice of the Bossy Massage (developed by Dr Betty Martin) has connected many couples with the joy, and deep satisfaction of touch – often for the first time!

It can help you build towards being able to ask for touch experiences you truly want - from non-erotic to erotic.

And it can also be joyful to discover the freedom of not having to be a mind-reader or expert when it comes to touching your partner.

The skills you’ll learn with this practice can bring positive benefits to the whole of your relationship, beyond touch.

When is a massage not a massage?

The Bossy Massage is not about learning fancy massage techniques to get your partner off. Or trying to second-guess what they might like.

It’s about you and your partner discovering the true power of touch - by each getting to choose what’s right for you, moment to moment.

Imagine being able to to choose touch which feels ‘Wow’, instead of just putting up with ‘Meh’

Is it for you?

This is for you if you’re a couple and:

  • You want to improve your relating
  • Touch in your relationship has become stuck in a rut or disappointing and you want to change that
  • You’d like to get better at knowing how your body wants to be touched
  • You want to learn to communicate better to your partner about the touch you like
  • You’re tired of trying to be a mind-reader when touching your partner
  • You’d like to learn a fun way to practice and enjoy touch together

How can you learn it?

The heart of this practice is about creating the opportunity to bring full focus to your body and your desires. To experience how it feels when you don’t have to reciprocate or worry about your partner, but can simply enjoy receiving touch the way YOU want to. For this reason the practices in these sessions concentrate on one-way exchanges, rather than mutual ones.