Michael Dresser

Wheel Of Consent

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The Wheel of Consent®

Understanding consent

The key concept of the Wheel Of Consent is radical: not simply that consent is a good idea, but offering a practical way to distinguish between who is doing and who it is for, in order to be able to create safe agreements for truly consenting exchanges – from the boardroom to the bedroom.

The process is never about pushing through and trying to like something you don’t like; it’s about learning to trust yourself and be true to yourself. All of this creates ease, clarity, and confidence.

Who is it for?

The Wheel Of Consent allows you to understand the crucial part of any exchange: who it is for. It allows you to answer this key question:

  • Are you acting on your desire?
  • Or are you putting your desire aside?

In every exchange one person will be giving, one person will be receiving. One person will also be doing, and one person will be done-to. But, contrary to what we’re used to thinking, the fact that you are doing something, does not necessarily mean you are giving.

Creating agreements    

The key to learning how to have fulfilling, consenting exchanges is learning how to set and keep consensual agreements. This means that everyone remains fully in choice at all times, and still gets what they need.

Consensual agreements can come in many forms – they can set multiple parameters such as timescales, boundaries, limits, and specific instructions; or they can be as simple as saying ‘I would like you to pleasure me”. In all cases understanding your own needs, and acting on them, are the essential first steps to being able to make effective agreements.

Explore more:

Introduction to the Wheel Of Consent

21 July 2020. Online, with Robyn Dalzen. Lay the foundations for improving choice and communication. A gentle mix of information, discussion, and guided practical exploration.

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Wheel Of Consent Workshop – 6-Week Series

6 Aug – 10 Sep 2020. Online, with Robyn Dalzen. Learn embodied consent skills to ask for what you want, set clear boundaries, and be empowered in your communications and connections.

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decision or choice

Decision or Choice – what’s the difference?

Many of us might consider the words ‘decision’ and ‘choice’ to be ever-present, and almost interchangeable. Here’s why it’s essential to distinguish between them, and how you can do that.

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The quadrants

Each quadrant in the Wheel Of Consent creates a different experience and teaches you something different about yourself. Learn more about each one:

Serving
Taking
Allowing
Accepting

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